A Half-Baked Idea to Become Partial Owner of Scottish Football Club Rangers FC
The title kind of gives this one away, but what the hell folks? I wanted to give a music suggestion blog today, but I’ll go ahead and save that for tomorrow. Today, let’s talk a little football. The soccer kind of course. I recently re-downloaded FIFA 18 and spent my entire afternoon managing Rangers FC in the Scottish Premier League. I had an idea the other day while stoned to become a partial owner of a European soccer team and while managing the lads out in Glasgow yesterday, I decided to try and become a partial owner of Rangers FC. Rangers FC is traded publically, which means I can, in fact, go out and buy a portion of the team.
Needless to say, Rangers you will be mine. Or at least .00001% of you will. I weirdly had a phase with the Scottish premier league about 11 years ago. I was wee lad back then and began to follow the team, because my older brother was a fan of their rival, Celtic. Rangers and Celtic both come from the city of Glasgow and are dominant forces in the Scottish Premier League. Rangers typically fall behind Celtic at the league’s number two position. Rangers acts as the little brother of Glasgow football, which is probably why I identified with them as strongly as I did before my brother went off to college. I know. It seems random. What can I say? I was a fan back in the Kris Boyd/Barry Ferguson days. I even owned a Kris Boyd jersey.
Rangers’ fans have been described as hooligans, which is a title that I would love to have associated with my name. Nothing sounds like more fun than a good old fashion Scottish football riot. Am I right?
The Rangers rivalry with Celtic also has religious implications. Rangers have been described as an anti-Catholic football club, which adds to the rivalry because Celtic began as a Catholic charitable organization. The Youtube video on the squad’s history, which I will link at the bottom of the article, states that no catholic has ever played for Rangers FC. The video is pretty old and I can’t imagine it holds true, but religion always makes for a more serious rivalry. What has caused more people to kill each other than anything else? Yup. You guessed it. Religion.
I find it fairly patriotic to insert myself into a foreign conflict with religious implications. It’s the American way. Scottish football rivalries seem awesome. Rangers’ fans, like my fellow Philadelphia Eagles fans, seem to love riots. They are a passionate fan base.
So apparently they signed their first Catholic in 1989. I have a feeling most of that religion stuff is behind them… They do still love a good riot though.
At this point, you are probably wondering to yourself why? Why invest in a Scottish premier league team? It is true that I don’t watch soccer and could not name a single lad on the Rangers first team. I will learn their names when I own part of their organization. Obviously.
Is this a bad investment? It might be. They were liquidated and placed into the third division of Scottish football. They made several questionable financial decisions in order to defeat Celtic for the league title. When they won 5 league titles between 2003 and 2011, they allegedly “abused” the tax system. This led to their subsequent liquidation. They now are owned by a new company who helped revitalize the franchise. They began their new club the third division of Scottish football before eventually returning to the SPFL. This new company, however, apparently did not learn their lesson after liquidation and continue to borrow money egregiously.
Say what you will about all of that. Rangers FC wants to win. They wouldn't make so many horrible fiscal decisions otherwise. I’m bought in on the idea. Once I figure out how to trade on the London Stock Exchange, Rangers ownership is as good as mine… partially.